Crying Over Raw Meat

My sister invited me to dinner at the Melting Pot because it was Restaurant Week in Pasadena.  For $35 dollars you got your choice of a cheese fondue, an entrée fondue and a dessert fondue.  It was a deal.  Over dinner I broke down and cried over my raw pieces of meat as the pot boiled over.  All the stress and anxiety over the past few weeks have caught up and I cannot hold it together any longer.  So, I just let it all go right there and then in the middle of the restaurant.

I woke up with a stiffness in my neck and shoulders to the point that it was making it difficult to drive since I had to move my entire body to turn my head.  Then my left eye started to see sparkles whenever I walked out from indoors to outdoors, like when I walk from the stairwell to the parking garage’s roof at work.  It last only for a few minutes then goes away.  I’m slightly concerned that the same thing that happened to my right eye is now happening in my good left eye.  If I lose vision in both eyes what am I going to do with myself.  I won’t be able to do my job since most of the day is spent answering emails online and doing things on the computer.

I started to read The Lupus Recovery Book by Jill Harrington.  All the symptoms she was experiencing I went through myself so I figured that it couldn’t hurt to try her method of healing through foods.  The author has been 12 years in remission and she firmly believes it’s her eating. Today I decided to cut out the 4 Whites – sugar, white flour, salt and dairy of my diet.  Let’s see how long I last and whether or not it makes a difference.  It can’t hurt, right?  I’m desperate and I’ll try anything to get better.  I tried dropping 10 mg down to 40 of prednisone today.  My face feels fuller on this drug, the so-called moon face side effect.

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4 thoughts on “Crying Over Raw Meat

  1. Joy Graham says:

    You are such a brave person and an inspiration to all of us. We are thinking about you and hope that you can conquer the illness. Stay strong and hope to see you soon!!!

  2. cathy says:

    hi isabella,

    you are a strong woman and i know that you like to keep things inside and don’t want to expose your feelings to others. it always good and ok to cry and share with others what you are going through.

    regarding your vision in your left good eye, can you ask the doctor for his/her opinion? and before you get the doctor’s diagnosis, don’t think anything about the negative impact (ie: how this will affect your job). thinking about the negative impact will only be an added bump to your road of recovery.

    with any severe medical situations, we often loose ourselves and let our negative emotions take over. isabella, just remember that a part of healing is a positive attitude. i know you have it, but right now you are overwhelmed with a lot of things, so it is hard to find it.

    and i am so proud of you for going through the natural route to cure/take care of your lupus. do you remember it was you who introduced me to this natural eating route and i was able to get my psoriasis under control and in remission? you are an empowering woman and i am blessed that you are my friend.

    right now, i have been bad with my eating (due to other stress). but since you’re doing it, i am motivated to get back into the good eating habits.

    alrighty, jiffy, let me know if you need any help or someone to talk to. i am here for you.

    love,
    cathy =)

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