It’s been almost 10 months since I first signed up for Match, which BTW was a complete accident. What had originally set out to be a 1-month test membership in February became a full year commitment because my impatient nature impulsively clicked through the sign-up process and failed to see that it had checked the 6-month membership box instead of 1-month. Then after 6-months was up they surreptitiously charged an automatic renewal for another 6 months! No warning, no receipt, no confirmation!
I initially wanted to conduct a social experiment of sorts. I wanted to know where people met if they didn’t meet at school, work or bar. Online? That’s so…weird. Only awkward, socially inept people date online, right? I mean, why do people who actually meet online always make up a fake story to tell at their weddings? See? Weirdness. Okay, so I took one for the team. I had to get to know it. The goal was to become an expert on online dating in order to write about it. I needed to gain fodder to be able to share knowledgeable first-hand advice AKA horror stories to the unsuspecting lovelorn who might want to exhaust this medium as a way to meet their one true love.
So, I offered up myself as a test subject to find out what happens when things that rely heavily on face-to-face interaction go virtual.
Apparently, obscenity is what happens.
Just today, I had a 51-year-old guy ask me if I have ever thought about selling a pair of my panties. Ew, gross. Don’t they have specific websites dedicated to those kinds of fetishes. Though, curious, I did start to wonder what a pair of my panties would go for. They’re cute, pink, lacey cheeksters from Victoria’s Secret. My entrepreneurial side kicks in. Math in head…I would never have to do lingerie laundry ever again and I would make all the money I’ve spent on lingerie back and more! But the thought of someone doin’ the Han Solo sniffing my worn panties kinda creeps me out. Sorry, mister…I’ll have to pass on the offer. But, thanks!