Last night at a party of mostly gay men, we met an ex-pro football player who played for the 49ers and Raiders. He was an extremely intelligent, well-spoken, keenly self-aware individual. The conversation reared itself to commitments and relationships because my friend had relocated to SF from NYC because of her husband’s residency. My friend had used the term sacrifice but I suggested that maybe she meant compromise. Sacrifice suggested potential resentment behind the actual act whereas compromise meant meeting voluntarily half way in between for a common goal. We all agreed that marriage is more of a compromise than a sacrifice or at least it should be.
Then the topic carried over to the actual act of marriage and how it really is more of a social construct to the world outside of the couple as a signifier of their commitment to each other and not so much as to the couple themselves. She said that she felt exactly the same about her relationship and not much has changed in their dynamic. But, she did comment that when people say that they have to get home early to have dinner with their husband or wife it is completely acceptable in the workplace. But, try inter-changing that with boyfriend or girlfriend then it comes off as being lazy and irresponsible.
Interesting thought. I have a photo-frame that came with stock photography of children that I haven’t changed out. Maybe I should bring that into work for my desk.