Red Wine + First Date = Not Good

It’s been awhile since my last first date. Let me try to remember…after signing up on Match I was going strong sometimes double booking the first few weeks of being on it. Then because I wasn’t having much luck it just tapered off. Last date was probably a few months ago. It was our second date and his car ended up needed a jump start so he kept apologizing and then never called me again. Not that it was a love connection. Then I stopped being responsive on Match.

Cut to August, 6 months after I initially signed up and my subscription was about to end. Match has this mantra that if you don’t find someone in 6 months you get 6 months free. So, I wanted my 6 months. Though one of the catches is that you have to have at least 5 communications for every month that you’re on. At that point, I had had 2 and needed 3 more. So, I fumble through the last few emails I had received. And pick 3. One on purpose because he seemed interesting and wrote a decent message I wanted to respond to and the other 2 were at random. Though I come to later find out that it has to be for every month that you’re on so it was moot anyway.

He had written me that Tuesday. I wrote him back on Thursday and he wrote me back on Monday. He gave me his number and email and had asked to meet up. I wrote him back gave him my number but said he couldn’t call me until email #5 had been sent. On Tuesday he sent email #5 and called me a few hours later. Now, I have to preface all of this by saying that is isn’t really my mode of operation on Match. I don’t really give out my number that easily and I’m hesitant to meet up. I don’t know why this felt different. He called while I was at the gym so I called him back on my way home. He sounded like he was out. He told me he was at a taqueria and asked if he could call me back later. I said yes. He called back a few hours later but I was on the phone with Angela so I let it go to voicemail. I called him back and he asked if I was punishing him for not being available to talk when I called. We chatted. It wasn’t an extremely long conversation but then he asked me out. We settled on that Thursday. He initially asked for Friday but I told him I already had plans. He said he would call me on Thursday with the details.

On Thursday he texted in the afternoon saying that tonight was going to be fun and that he would call me later. Around 6pm he called. I missed his call because I was in a meeting so I called him back and he said to meet him at the SM pier between 7:30 and 8pm. I asked him if he was an early person or late person because frankly 30 minutes is a long time to wait for someone. So, we settle on 8pm and he says to meet him at the Viceroy so that we could walk over together. He texts me at 7:54 to tell me that he was there. I was about to exit 4th street when I miss it and end up on PCH and driving towards Malibu before I could turn around. So, I’m 20 minutes late cuz then I couldn’t find the stupid hotel that doesn’t have a sign. Ugh, trendy spots.

I walk in and it’s a crowded bar. It’s definitely a place to people watch. Totally not my type of scene. But, here I am. It takes me less than two seconds to spot him sitting in a dark corner on the phone. I just walked right up to him. When I got up to him I had a moment thinking that I might have the wrong person but he quickly ended his phone call, jumped up and gave me the biggest hug ever. I felt completely at ease and we started chatting and it was effortless. Nothing has been this easy. I give him the box of cupcakes I picked up for dessert. And he said that he had a surprise for dessert too. We walk over to the beach and he made it a point to make sure he was walking on the street side the entire time even after we crossed the street. We got to the sand and he says that his friends are there somewhere but that he thought it would be better if it was just the two of us so that we could get to know each other. He pulled out a sheet from his bag and we laid it out. He then took out two salads and two vegetarian paninis and a bottle of red wine. For dessert, he brought a cut mango, strawberries and vanilla ice cream. He also fed me dessert.

We had good conversation/banter. It felt completely natural and I was set at ease. Though it could have been the wine;) No, he was a perfect gentleman and definitely charming and I lost track of time and realized the music that we were there to listen to had already ended. The police were starting to tell people to pack up. We kept talking oblivious to what was going on around us. The police got a little bit more aggressive and we figure we should probably get going. So, we pack up. We stood talking for a bit and then he started to twirl me around like we were dancing. I was mid-sentence when he pulled me close and kissed me. Again, something I never do on the first date. But, it felt so completely natural. We had a moment and realized that there was a line of cops watching us. So, he grabs everything including my shoes and walk towards the boardwalk. We hold hands on the way back to the hotel and he again makes it a point to walk on the street side. I never had a guy do this for me. It was cute. We get to the hotel and he asks if I’m up for a drink at the bar. It’s 11pm so I say sure. But, I stick with sparkling water because I’ve had a little too much wine with dinner. He gets a beer and I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I’m feeling the wine. I come back and he’s moved and he playfully tries to hide from me after I had spotted him. He jumps back into view and gives me a kiss. We go out to the pool side and find an empty couch. We sit and we chat and he massages the back of my neck and we make out a little bit here and there. Everything is going so perfectly. Best date I’ve had in awhile. And then it happens…

Mid-sentence I get a wave of nausea and I completely projectile vomit. Luckily, I had enough time to turn away and vomit on the white rug instead of on him. I didn’t even know what to do. He asked if I just vomited. I said yeah. He asked what happened. I said I don’t know. He grabbed a napkin and said I should go clean up in the bathroom and he’d wait for me outside. I walked into the restroom and threw up some more and told myself that I just blew it. I finally meet someone I connect with and we have this amazing time and I vomit almost on him. I am an idiot. I’m in the bathroom for awhile and he texts me if I’m okay. I text back and ask him if he’s still outside that I didn’t expect him to be there when I got out. He then asks if this was a polite way of telling him that I wasn’t interested. I said yup, that I was climbing out the bathroom window. I do my best to clean up an residual vomit. I finally walk out and he’s sitting out there waiting for me. He sits me down and gives me a hug and I push him away because I was grossing myself out. He asks me what happened. If I was okay. If he could get me anything. He didn’t act disgusted at all even though I was thoroughly disgusted with myself. We waited a bit and he asked if I was okay driving home. I said yeah, so we go to get our cars from the valet. He paid for my valet and didn’t want to take my money. He asked once more if I was okay and then gave me a kiss goodnight. I pushed away and said I had gross pukey mouth and he said I knew you couldn’t be perfect and then kissed me again. On my way home, he texted to let make sure I let him know I got home safe.

Then in the sanctity of my car I relived the entire night. It felt surreal. I didn’t feel real. None of it. It was too perfect puke and all. And I called my roommate so that she could tell me that it wasn’t all made up in my head. Then I got home and puked some more and vowed that I wouldn’t drink red wine ever again. The next day I wrote him an email thanking him for a great date and for taking care of me and being a perfect gentleman about the whole thing and apologizing for making such a mess. He wrote back later and said he would call the next day and check up on me and see how I was recuperating. He called on Saturday and then he asked for a second date for Monday.

I think I like him. But, I’m trying really hard not to.

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