Weekend of Races and the Last Phone Call

I decided to fly up to SF to do the Great Urban Race with Page. I just needed an excuse to fly and get out of town as always. I flew up on Friday and after Page picked me up from the airport we had time to get some In and Out before picking up Holly. We get to Page’s apartment and a few minutes into Wii play I get a drunk dial from who else but the aforementioned ex who I was trying to let and forget. Well, he was letting me forget him. He called me super drunk and was driving home and asked me to keep him company as he tried to make it home. I told him to pull over and call someone to come pick him up because he was being stupid. I didn’t feel like talking to him because this was just recently after finding out he just got engaged to a girl he had dated for 3 months. We were not really on speaking terms. But, because he was drunk I just asked him to focus, drive slowly and let me know when he got home. Half of my heart did skip a beat because even though he was engaged to a new girl he called me to help navigate him home. He then proceeded to confide in me that he had had rough day the other day and that the only person he wanted to call was me. I told him that he has his fiancee now and that she was to play that role. He said no. He wanted to tell me. I said he couldn’t and reiterated that he needed to tell his fiancee. Not me.

He then kept on about how sorry he was for hurting me, for ruining our chances and wishing he could take everything back and start over. I just listened trying to not let it break down the wall. He’s just drunk and saying things. He doesn’t really mean it. He then told me that he could never have me in the same room as his fiancee because he still cared about me and he wouldn’t know how he would choose if he had to. Why are you telling me this? What are you trying to do? Stop it. You’re getting married. This is not the time to not know what you want. He kept at it and I had to hold back the tears. Because it was not fair. Not fair to me. And not fair to his fiancee. Why would you tell that to me? What’s the purpose? You’ve obviously made your choice. Just leave me be. I never said any of those thoughts. I just let him talk. He finally got home safe, he thanked me for keeping him company and we got off the phone.

The next day during the race he called to apologize for the call. I said no worries and that he was so drunk he probably doesn’t remember any of it. He said no, that he remembered every last word of it, meant everything he said and wanted to apologize. I brushed it off and said that I was in the middle of running a race and that I’d call him back later.

I never called him back.

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