I thought about it a lot recently. And I was wondering why I was so reluctant of getting back into the dating pool. I’ve never been much of a dater having had only one boyfriend in high school, none in college and one in grad school. Barely having gotten over a really bad breakup with a boyfriend of 3 years, I knew that I had to do something just to help my heart and mind to move on. I was just in this infinite limbo with the ex that I knew it wasn’t healthy for me. But, I felt because I had no other prospects it was very easy to fall back into habits especially with someone who you thought was that one person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.
I kept thinking that maybe with a little bit more time and effort we could work things out. But, deep down I knew it wasn’t. I just needed to know that he wasn’t the end all be all and that there were way more fishies out there in the sea. I just needed to jump into the ocean. It was a scary thought.
But, that’s what I did. I went online on a whim and took 20 minutes to fill out a profile on Match.com and I hit submit so fast that instead of signing up for just a month I ended up clicking on a 6-month subscription. Oooops. Oh well.
I did it. I am back in the pool. I’m scared out of my mind and I don’t even know how to do this but I think it’s what I need to finally get over this clusterfuck of a mess I’ve found myself in.
Cheers! (Oh, man. What have I done?)