I realized that I cannot survive without writing. It’s been months since I’ve actually parlayed my thoughts into words in print and it has taken an emotional toll on my creative health. I NEED to write. It puts my flighty soul at ease. I’ve had a drought and need major watering.
I have to be honest. I have been too busy too write. It’s not that I don’t want to or am not motivated. It’s that I have been able to only sleep between 4-5 hours a night. The new job keeps me busy and I’ve been purposely keeping my social life booked up because well it beats sitting at home feeling sorry for myself. At first, I kept busy because it stopped me from going home, rolling up in a ball and crying my eyeballs out about things I had no control over like silly things as unrequited love. But, now that I’ve reacquainted myself with old friends and met some fantastic new ones it’s become an endless supply of events, dates, plans, and trips. And I LOVE every minute of it.
Only problem is not much down time to be contemplative and analytical about this thing I’m living. And it makes me feel stunted.
So, June marks the halfway point of Fucking Fantastic 2008, making this a perfect time to upset this wordless trend.
I watch my plumeria cutting with heavy intentions. Two weeks ago I was on island of Oahu. It was my first visit. I bought a plumeria cutting as a souvenir to remind me of my short stay. I must preface this story with the proclamation that I’ve never grown anything in my entire life. No, I lie. I did recently attempt to grow lavender from a no-fail, pre-potted planter but the baby sprouts were all wilted and dead when I got home from the trip. Sad.
Excited about giving life back to this chopped off tree branch, I went to OSH and bought a planter, some potting soil, sand and rocks. I followed the directions on the plumeria package I purchased from the Honolulu airport, which I bought on a whim because the saleslady behind the counter was just so sweet. I am actually growing and maintaining something. I had a proud moment. This plant was going to depend on me to make sure it got enough sun and water. (Thank goodness plumerias don’t need a lot of watering.) And it’s growing! It should bloom next year which would be a good marker that I need to make my return to Hawaii.
The trip was great. I got to see a new place, meet wonderful new people and do things I’ve never done before. Life has been fantastic this year. Busy but in a very good way and now I just need to play catch up in capturing it all.