Fucking Fantastic 2008

It’s been almost an entire year of misguided angst and broken-hearted pangs of frustration. I thought it was about time to get rid of the old and bring in the new. New warmth, new love and new life. But, I was still chained to this history that I was so afraid to let go of. I needed to set it free in order to move on and salvage what was left of me…for me. I consciously made the decision to make that change. No moment of weakness was going to break me down. I decided that I was going to have a fucking fantastic 2008. It became my mantra towards the end of 2007 and it actually stuck.

I was going to have a fucking fantastic 2008 and no one was going to be able to stop me. Not even me. Because frankly I’ve been my own worst enemy.

A co-worker told me about the Law of Allowance, allowing those around you to be who they naturally are and trying to not create expectations for people to live up to. For creating something that they cannot innately fulfill causes dissonance that will get sanctioned out in other forms of discontent. You got to just allow people to be…to exist in their own natural path. I finally did. I didn’t try to fight it. I stopped trying to mold people into what I thought they should be in my eyes. And the minute I did that all the chains broke loose. And it made complete sense. People are who they are and I can’t change that about them. Either I accept them for who they are or I don’t.

I thought it was fitting that I started the new year right with a new blog. No more dwelling in the past and the promise of what might have been if I had only done something differently. It just doesn’t work that way. I’m more accepting of what is for what it actually is.

So far new beginnings have been rampant. A new job, a new apartment, new friends, new interests equals new life. And I am excited. I am healthy. My Superheroes and Villains birthday party was a blast. I’m going to Sundance this weekend. And I am getting promoted at work after only 3 months of starting there. I am getting back into writing and will finish my project by the end of this year. I’m having the time of my life. I’m making plans for plain and utter greatness.

I am in love with living life.

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