“Comfortable” on Repeat

Who: Me, Holly, Jonelle (THE Jewish American Princess)
Where: Senor Fred’s
When: Thursday 8pm

Back story – Holly invites me Tuesday night to go see a screening of “Jewish American Princess” with her for her work. I’m like what the hell. I read the synopsis she sends me and it sounds relatively relateable, a documentary about a 25-year-old girl searching for Mr. Right, so I told her that I would meet her at Raleigh Studios at 7pm.

Shout out to “Jewish American Princess”, the documentary, as an honest, heartfelt and hopeful portrayal of being single in today’s vapid world of jaded people who’ve been hurt and no longer hold the flame of hope to finding real love. People just wanting to get laid and not looking to build meaningful relationships.

Extra special shout out to, Jonelle, the Jewish American princess herself, as a new-found special friend who’s come into my life it seems like at the most opportune time, as if the stars had aligned and fate had us meet. You are like a shining star so full of hope and inspiration regardless of all the heartache and obstacles you have had to overcome. You are protective but not jaded. You are hopefully romantic but not hopeless. And by being your optimistic self you give me unconditional hope.

Flash forward – Thursday night I’m driving down Ventura looking for Senor Fred’s in Studio City using wrong directions smeared on my left hand. Twenty minutes later, on time by LA standards, I find Holly and Jonelle sitting outside on the patio. We gab and talk as if we’ve been friends since junior high. Unfortunately, our initial bond is over one common theme, broken hearts and healing heartache.

Sitting there totally engrossed in our gabfest, we are interrupted by the table next to us of two guys.

“Excuse me,” says the slightly scruffy in a clean cut type way guy. We didn’t hear him. “Excuse me,” he says more intently.

I stop the conversation to acknowledge him. I give him the “What’s up?” look.

“Excuse me, but can I ask you what’s your nationality?” Being the Asian, I assumed he was speaking directly to me and not the entire table.

He was.

“My nationality is American. My ETHNICITY is Thai, if that’s what you’re asking,” I replied in a very you-so-rudely-interrupted-our-conversation-to-ask-a-very-ignorant-question tone. I really don’t know where that came from. The regular me would have just said Thai and left it at that.

It felt so good to be so bitchy. So very empowering. I mean I felt bad that I humiliated him on the spot but at least he learned a vocabulary lesson today. And the next time he tries to hit on an ethnic girl, he’ll ask her ethnicity and not her nationality when he wants to know what her racial makeup is and not her country’s allegiance.

Holly informs the completely oblivious me when we’re about to leave shortly after the two guys made their exit, that he couldn’t take his eyes off of me the entire time we were there. Ahahahaha. Hmmmm. I guess being bitchy gets people’s attention.

While we were busily gabbing away, Nicollette Sheridan, who Jonelle almost went over and sat down with when she first got there because Nicollette’s friend looked a little like Holly, comes out and bums a cigarette off of Jonelle. But, this was immediately after Jonelle’s friend randomly walks by on his way to meet his blind date. So, he stopped to talk for a bit only to have his blind date come up right behind him and make that initial recognition as he is talking to three girls right before the date. Ooops. But, it looked like things went well when they walked out. As we get up to leave a couple hours later, Nicollette Sheridan gets “titty rammed” by Jonelle as she gets up from the table and rams her elbow into Nicollette’s boob. What a way to end the night.

If I didn’t know better, I would have thought that the entire night was being filmed by a hidden camera crew.

Thanks for a wonderful night ladies. Jonelle have a wonderful time on your cruise and do exactly what I wouldn’t do. Hahahaha. This time you won’t have a camera crew following you, so go crazy. Holly thanks for being my 5-year-old counterpart and setting yourself up so I can make jokes about you like you do me while watching my feet turn from blue to red to white. I’m so patriotic.

Currently listening to and obsessed with songs for the broken-hearted.

Right now I’m listening John Mayer’s “Comfortable” on repeat. I think it’s on 17th round.

See, I told you I was a sucker for punishment.


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