Felicity marathons are my favorite way to spend a Thursday night.

If you’re brave enough to commit, I will devote myself entirely to you.”

“I surrender all attempts to control life, yours or mine. I live for one thing: to love you. To make you happy. To live firmly and joyously in the moment.”

These are scenes from a movie that I keep saying I can’t stand but it’s like a tragic car accident. You know you’ll definitely see something gruesome, that could possibly scar you for life, but you just can’t tear yourself away from looking. It’s sick.

A high five to anyone who can guess what terrible movie these lines came from. Well, maybe I’ll just laugh at you in shame because you’ve seen this movie too and it resonated enough with you that you remember the lines. Please don’t judge me because I watch terrible movies and can’t look away. I can’t help it, I’m a sucker for punishment in many different aspects.

I’m watching Felicity Sophomore Year (the best show on Earth followed by Grey’s Anatomy) and Ben Covington is playing basketball with his boss’ kid and it reminded me of when I was on the Felicity set walking from the wardrobe trailer, my arms full with stuff, under the basketball hoop where Scott Speedman is playing basketball. I try to act nonchalant about seeing my biggest crush, at the time, live and in person. “Heads up,” I hear a familiar scratchy voice yell across the court. I look up just in time to see a basketball heading my way. I have no way to block it with my hands all full. It hits me square on the shoulder. Scott runs over and apologizes profusely and asks if I’m okay. “I’m okay,” I stammered, the whole time thinking that you, Ben Covington, could hit me with a basketball anytime. He helped me collect my things. I hurriedly said, “Thanks,” and walked away slightly embarrassed but gleeful. I couldn’t believe it. Later on in the day, I had an entire conversation with him at the craft service table while eating candy together. He apologized again for hitting me with the basketball and we chatted about our favorite candy. He’s a big fan of Red Vines. I walked around with the biggest grin for a whole week straight.

I love my Cons and my extremely long-sleeved sweaters. I’m neurotic and indecisive and when I have the urge to say or do something there’s no stopping me. Even if I may regret it later. I think way too much. I overanalyze. I’m big on talking about “feeings”. Sometimes, I’m irrational and do hasty things but I end up always wanting to just make things right. I’m a fixer for life.

Yes, in my head I am Felicity Porter and you are my Ben Covington.

“Your and Felicity’s relationship is like a delicate flower. You tell her something like that now, it’s like stepping on the flower. Right? Your relationship needs time to grow to bloom and strengthen. Don’t step on the flower.” – Sean (Ben’s Roommate)

I LOVE this show. I can’t wait to get Season 3 & 4.

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