I’m feeling a little bummed right now and needed to write when I should really be writing my stories and law brief. I don’t know why I’m so bummed. I feel really shitty, like a big pile of smelly puppy crap. Could it possibly be that I’m not happy with the way things are going in my life? I’m really good at convincing myself of things that aren’t really happening. It could be good or it could be bad. And if you don’t convince me otherwise, then it’s as good as gospel.
I don’t know who I am anymore. What do I want? What are my dreams? What do I want to do with the rest of my life? Who am I? I’ve lost myself. I’ve lost my ideals. I use to want to make a difference in the world. Now, I just don’t care.
I’m not perfect. And I don’t want to play it anymore. I have doubts, insecurities but the worst part is that I convince myself that I don’t have any. It makes me want to scream.
Please help me find me. I hate not having a car here. It really sucks. I can’t go for long, inspirational drives late at night. At least, it’s stopped snowing. Spring is kind of here. And I’m done in six weeks. Omigod.