Dude = Ingrown elephant butt hair

I have an appointment at AppleOne the temp agency at 10:00am in Cerritos, a doctor’s appointment at 1:40pm in Lakewood. a tentative interview with Student Traveler Magazine at 4:00pm in downtown L.A., to meet my friend Samson for coffee at 6:00pm in Echo Park, then meet Tricia at her place at 7:00 pm and then take off for Tony Lucca’s record release party at The Key Club at 8:00pm. I think I need a personal assistant to schedule my meetings and such. Whew. What a packed Monday. It’s not like this happens everyday. It’s just when things happen, it does so tenfold. Life is usually like that for me. And that’s not good for someone who is so indecisive. Choices, choices, choices. I mean, geez it takes me a gazillion years to order dinner. Doesn’t food always taste better when someone else orders it? I think it does. And when you try to order it the next time, it just doesn’t taste the same. There’s no point or even a smart analogy to this. Just tangent thoughts. Or maybe…

So California Adventures was fun yesterday. I ate my share of churros. I didn’t get to go on The Tower of Terror because I had failed to notice the HUGE letters under the attraction sketch on the map saying opening May 5th. Boo-hoo. And that was the one thing I was looking forwards to. Sometimes, it’s best not to expect. Because then you won’t be let down. And I was let down.

Today, was a very sunny Californian day. So, most people ended up at the beach such as myself. I met up Chad, Chad’s fiancee Roxy and Chris at good old HB. It’s been forever since I’ve hung out there. I used to go almost every weekend. How I miss thee. Not.

This weekend I learned that “dude” means ingrown elephant butt hair. Well, it’s not in any canonical dictionary that I’ve searched. It is in the urban dictionary though, where you can make up your own definitions to words and people vote on it. Surprisingly, I tested out this “elephant” definition and other people knew it. So, it must be one of those urban legends. Some Midwest or East Coast guy decides to make fun of Californian “dudes” and makes up this absurd definition. I mean, how many ingrown butt hairs can an elephant get to constitute a word in the English language. If it’s true then it must be a problem zookeepers and veterinarians face everyday. I do know for a fact that dingleberry means either: a piece of dried feces caught in the hair around the anus or an incompetent, foolish, or stupid person. That’s a fact. I guess that must be a problem too. Big enough to have a word to describe the phenomenon. Gross.

Lates, I must be going. Gotta print out some mays as in resume. Mmm-kay.

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