i was looking around to see what other people my age were doing because i was bored and then i got into the bad habit of comparison. it’s bad to do, i know. but i did it anyways. and this is what i found. more and more people my age are engaged, married or at the very least in a committed relationship. they are on their way to 2.5 kids, a Volvo stationwagon, a mediocre job that they despise but hope will lead to the corner office with a view, complete with a 401K that would be available for early retirement so that when they are 60-something they can do all the fun things that 60-year-olds do: golf, shop, gamble. i’m not a hater. i have a gramps too. and he’s super cool. the best grandpa on Earth. plus, my Dad is getting to that stage age. and i feel the unspoken necessity to make something of myself so that he can enjoy his 401K without having to worry about mortgages and stuff of the like. i need to pick up the pieces. take some damn responsibility and grow up. i have commitment issues, anxiety problems, and an overzealous imagination that’s taken me to faroff places yet nowhere.
what’s the dealio? am i jealous? is that what i want deep down inside? no, say it isn’t so. argh!!
but i was wondering. you know when there’s a really good sale at, let’s say, Victoria’s Secret. and if you don’t go the very first day, and go the second you get stuck with the leftovers that first day people didn’t want. then if you go the third day, you’re left with even less choice and the leftovers from the second day people and so on. people try these things on. and you don’t know who these people are and how often they wash. and what it is exactly that they didn’t like about that particular pair of underwear. there must be something wrong with it, you keep thinking. so you’re paranoid. checking seams and clasps over and over again. and by the time, if you’re lucky, and you do find something that fits you and seems almost flawless, it’s probably the wrong color or style. but it’ll have to do, you compromise. cuz at least it fits, right?
or do you wait it out until the very last day of the sale when they mark prices down even further with the hopes that in the pandemonium everyone bypassed the most perfect fitting bra with matching underwear in a color that complements your skintone so well that even the VS Angels would envy. a set that was meant exactly for you and only you, that no one even had the chance to try it on cuz it was hidden underneath the huge pile. and only as the rummaging subsided and the mountain of merchandise disappeared that this perfect set was revealed to you.
nah, people by nature are savages. they’ll rummage until they perspire and get their grubby little hands on your perfect set and even if its two sizes two small try to fit their fat asses into it.
what’s an agoraphobic girl like me to do? ho hum. i want a perfect, matching set of pretty underwear that’ll make me feel comfortable yet sexy at the same time. but without having to face the crowds and aiming for a good, fair price. no shopping full price. a fair price, an even exchange. i don’t want to feel indebted to someone. er, i mean credit card companies. a good deal on quality merchandise.
i’ve got it!!!! online shopping. hahaha.
i hope to find my perfect, matching set of underwear someday.
Currently Listening: “Parachutes”- Coldplay.