Too bad i can’t fit into a priority mail envelope

if i could, i can be in new york by noon tomorrow for only $13.95.

yesterday, i had a most humbling experience. i rode the bus. armed with a printed version of my trip planner map provided by the MTA, i walked to the nearest bus stop. i never knew that there was one so close to my house. actually i’ve never noticed any one anywhere. i didn’t even think that buses ran in my town. it’s such a new, refreshing perspective. you gain such a new appreciation for promptness as you sit at the bus stop between a surly, bearded man talking to himself and a single mother trying to control her three young, children playing tag near a busy intersection. “where is the bus?”, i hear all the people asking in their minds. we all look over to the left, waiting for the valiant driver in a white bus to come and rescue us. he was late.

then there’s the appreciation for proximity. never will i circle parking lots for the closest parking spot ever again. just walking to my stop is like a marathon. and i haven’t even mentioned getting off at the wrong stop. damn. i got off at the wrong stop and had to walk to the right stop. which was a whole mile away, in a desolate, dreary, abandoned town kind of way. i could have gotten on another bus. but they run on these 45 minute intervals. and i had exact change for my trip. not enough for frivolity. plus, i had to learn my lesson…if it’s the bus driver’s first day on the job, don’t trust him. and i wasn’t about to wait by myself on this empty road. and to make things worse, my allergies were acting up. so, i huffed and puffed and sneezed my way to my real stop.

i made it to the corner where my stop was and i needed tissues really bad. so, i went into the corner gas station and bought a pack of sandpaper-like paper (it ‘s nowhere near being called tissue) for 10 cents. yes, there are things you can buy under a dollar. whether or not you would want to use it on sensitive body parts like your nose, that’s another question. i come out of the mini-mart just as my bus comes rounding the corner. i zip to my flagged stop, it didn’t even have a sitting place, not to mention a sun/rain cover, orange county sucks, and i frantically wave the driver to stop. it’s mid-day by now and kind of warm out. and even though the air conditioner is blasting, it can’t circulate and mask the foul air inside fast enough. people riding the bus or in any kind of public space, should seriously consider using maximum-strength deodorant.

i did finally make it to my destination, raw and runny-nosed and all, although two and a half hours later than i had planned.

i have a newfound appreciation for promptness, close-proximities, deodorant, private transportation, kleenex brand tissues, and pedestrians.

although, i can’t say the same for my calves. they are aching like crazy. they aren’t appreciative for sure.


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